Buy her a vibrator, nothing too fancy. she needs to hold it to the side of her clit, not on top, she can move it around or whatever, but hold it there, at the side as it's more sensitive WITH LUBE BEFORE, and within a few mins she'll have an orgasm. If her legs shake, tell her to keep going.
If she doesn't know what her clit is, it's A. on this sheet. https://yougov.co.uk/topics/health/articles-reports/2019/03/08/half-brits-dont-know-where-vagina-and-its-not-just
Make sure it is charged fully. https://www.amazon.com/Luna-Rechargeable-Personal-Wand-Massager/dp/B088JHY8HD/ref=sr_1_3?crid=HEXSYGFAM3DU&keywords=vibrator&qid=1684438164&sprefix=vibrator%2Caps%2C445&sr=8-3&th=1
It would prob help if she does this alone the first time, because she sounds self-conscious. Print out the instructions, print out the diagram, leave the lube, fully charged vibrator, and leave the house. Ask her to just try, if not for you, but for herself.
I met friends in my 20's & 30's who literally never had one, thought they couldn't have one etc. and i gave them those instructions. never ever once failed. lol.
Once she has an orgasm by herself, she can take it from there, and you two can talk more about what will work for her.
good luck!
edit to add; the peeing is a good sign. she prob is about to have an orgasm, and confuses the feeling because she has never experienced it before. but do the above, leave her alone, see how it works out
This is by far my favorite wand! It goes in different speeds and vibration patterns! I’ve had it since the beginning of august and today is the first time I’m charging it!
Rechargeable Personal Wand... https://www.amazon.com/dp/B088JHY8HD?ref=ppx_pop_mob_ap_share