I have been using the Febsmart usb3 card you mention above for 6 months with zero problems. I've left the vm running for days at a time with no issues. I also use it for VR.

I use it with a USB switch where I plug:

• keyboard
• mouse
• gamepad
• usb headset

& in the usb3 card I plug:

• port 1 of the usb card = usb switch
• port 2 of the usb card = printer
• port 3 of the usb card = Oculus Rift S
• port 4 of the usb card = free at the moment

If I need more usb ports in the vm I also have a 4 port usb3 hub

There seems to be 2 versions of the 4 port Febsmart USB cards - the old mark 1 fire hazzard versions have vertically aligned ports whereas the ok version has horizontally aligned ports (& different circuit protectors)

Most people suggest this one:

https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00JX1ZS5O/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_asin_title_o00_s00?ie=UTF8&th=1

I have this one and it works for me:

https://www.amazon.com/Anker-Extended-MacBook-Surface-Notebook/dp/B07L32B9C2/ref=sr_1_5?crid=234XCUOD52O5&keywords=usb+3.0+hub&qid=1672260573&s=electronics&sprefix=usb+3.0+hub%2Celectronics%2C88&sr=1-5

Player 1 and 2 buttons
https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B01N5Y8E2Z/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_search_asin_title?ie=UTF8&psc=1

Square buttons
https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B06XBLH25X/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_search_asin_title?ie=UTF8&psc=1

These are powered from a USB cable sourced from a non-powered USB hub that I plugged into the USB out near the bottom of the monitor. The LEDs are wired in parallel.
https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00JX1ZS5O/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_search_asin_title?ie=UTF8&psc=1

Could you link the one you went with? I have Sabrent 4-Port USB 3.0 Hub and tried to use the USB port in the monitor and the computers wouldn't recognize it.

Maybe a USB hub with per-port power buttons (like this: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00JX1ZS5O) combined with a SwitchBot or similar button-pushing device?