Hi there Ive actually had a ton of success with dilation. As for what kit to get, i just got this one on amazon for cheap and it has worked well for me. I started with a finger and moved up slowly to the smallest one and so on. The key is to go slow and try to work at it daily. One thing thats also helped make the dilation easier is pelvic floor stretching. It helps loosen those big muscles around your anus making dilation a little easier. You can look up any number of videos on stretches for pelvic floor release. A guy on youtube called uptown mike was helpful. Ive been at this for about a month and a half and since then i have not bled at all, still minor discomfort sometimes but after a year of chronic fissures, i know they are not healing over night. If you want some more detail check out the post i made about a week ago. Hopefully this helps you a little bit. I totally understand the frustration that comes with nothing working time after time.

Butt Plugs Trainer Silicone Anal Plugs Beginners Starter Set for Women and Men Soft Silicone Plugs Toys Trainer 4 Piece Set (Black) https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07YHMQQQW/ref=cm_sw_r_awdo_navT_a_1GVDV7JJ7A0E3ZSXJMP4?psc=1

I got this kit and then some basic anal lube separately. Started with the small one and have been working my way up a little every day