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"The Happy Cow Moisturizing Udder Balm - 12 ounce jar"

The Happy Cow Moisturizing Udder Balm - 12 ounce jar
The Happy Cow Moisturizing Udder Balm - 12 ounce jar

Soothes rough, itchy, tired and cracked skin.

Categories:
Beauty & Personal Care
Skin Care
Body
Moisturizers
Creams

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1 comment of this product found across Reddit:
_potatoesofdefiance_ /r/Cooking
5 points
1970-01-20 09:23:28.569 +0000 UTC

This one time, my sister had just put moisturizer on her hands and she went to grab the (glass) French press in the kitchen. It slipped out of her grip, fell, and smashed on the floor. My mom and I were standing right there, we turned to look while my sister was rooting around for another French press (we had 4 at the time, various young adults moving home and then moving out again, leaving some of their shit behind etc.). She's explaining it slipped out of her hands because of the moisturizer and she'll clean it up ASAP.

She grabs the second French press and it immediately slips out of her hands, falls, and smashes on the floor. All 3 of us are laughing at this point but this second smashed item made my mom shake her head, slightly annoyed. My sister reassured our mom that she would replace them both.

Now fully aware of the slippery hands, she goes for a third, promising us she'll be careful and hold it tight.

The third French press lasts about 2 seconds longer in her grip but then inevitably slips out of her hands and smashes on the floor. My sister and myself are now cracking the fuck up. My mom (a woman I would describe gently as "extremely frugal" to the point that just the waste of the broken items, even if she doesn't have to pay to replace them, pissed her off) no longer finds the situation funny. She and my sister begin to argue at this point, my sister defending herself with the fact that she knew her hands were slippery now, she just didn't understand how slippery and my mom being like wtf is wrong with you, I just watched you make the same mistake 3 TIMES IN A ROW ARE YOU A GODDAMNED IDIOT etc.

You probably know where this is going. My sister immediately challenges my mom to use the same moisturizer and try to pick up the fourth French press without dropping it. My mom scoffs, goes to the bathroom for the moisturizer and applies it. Upon her return she opens the cupboard, rummages around for the final French press, pulls it out and is just about the begin crowing when it slips out of her grip and smashes on the floor.

It was one of the funniest things I've ever seen, made even funnier by my mom flying into a rage and stomping out of the room when she dropped the last one.

And that was the day my family went from an abundance (4!) of French presses - far too many for our needs - to zero French presses in the space of about 5 minutes.

This was the moisturizer btw. Obligatory I'm not a shill and this was over 20 years ago so there's every chance the formula has changed: https://www.amazon.com/Happy-Cow-Moisturizing-Udder-Balm/dp/B00867FDJ2

I hope your parents' wounds heal quickly, OP, and that you never let them forget this.

Edit: I'm wrong, this was the cream (same label and we're in Canada so this is the one we had, not sure if it's the same product as the one linked above): https://www.amazon.ca/Udderly-Smooth-Udder-Cream-Lotion/dp/B002YINUWG