Congrats!
Have your mom join http://groups.yahoo.com/group/tyfa_talk/ if you're 18 or under and http://groups.yahoo.com/group/transkidsfamily/ if you're over 18. Frame it in terms of her getting her needs met, not a means to an end where you get your needs met. She's a lot more likely to be receptive to the idea if she doesn't think it's just a ploy to get her to give you what you want. If it helps, frame it as a way for her to get commiseration from other parents whose children are doing this to them or who are 'confused about their gender'. It's hugely important for her to talk to other parents, just as important as it is for you to talk to other Trans people. It's not healthy for you or for her if you're her only connection to what, to her, is a very foreign and possibly very frightening world. She needs to hear other parents - NOT just you - tell her that you should be trusted to know yourself, and that you are not doomed because you're Trans. Yes, you will find love, yes, youe will find a job/career, yes, you will be happy; no, you will not be outcast from society, no, you will not be looked at as a freak wherever you go, no, you will not be alone and miserable forever. Parents worry about that stuff. You can reassure her, but ultimately it's reassurance from other parents whose kids have transitioned and (miraculously!) turned out fine and live happy lives that's going to convince her.
Get The Transgender Child by Stephanie Brill and Rachel Pepper. It is your new bible. Read it and then give it to her. Never give or recommend anything that you haven't first read yourself!
Some more resources - you may be able to find them at your local library or through inter-library loan, or get a cheaper used copy online:
(The books can be ordered on Amazon or you can get the ISBNs from Amazon and bring them to any bookshop to order them. The DVD can be ordered on Amazon also, as you see from the link.)
Watch this and think about whether it might help your parents to watch it.
Look into http://trans-health.org/ and http://genderspectrum.org/ , among others. Those two have VERY strong youth and family tracks, though. And Trans Health has the added bonus of being free. Maybe next year your mom will be up for going to one or both conferences with you. If not, plan on going yourself.
I second what everyone else already told you: Don't get so hung up on labelling yourself. Just focus on being yourself and on doing whatever you need to do to feel more comfortable in your own skin. Try stuff, keep what works, chuck what doesn't, try other stuff. Don't angst so much. You're fine. :)
As other people said, therapy is a good idea - see http://t-vox.org/index.php?title=Therapists_by_region to find therapists in your area, or in other areas who do phone sessions, who understand Trans stuff - and keep in mind that transition is a process, not an event.
Also, here, have a resource dump in case you need it. :)
Take your time with these links; getting through them is not a race, and going through them slowly is a better idea anyway. Go through them in whatever order you want; I've just listed them by URL length so they're easier to read.
Must-reads if you can get hold of them:
(The books, aside from Trans Forming Families, can be ordered on Amazon or you can get the ISBNs from Amazon and bring them to any bookshop to order them. The DVD can be ordered on Amazon also, as you see from the link.)
The most important bit of advice I can offer: Don't let fear control what you do. Let people bail on you. (Protip: They very possibly won't. Fear blows everything out of proportion. They may not be thrilled, but people often surprise you in how accepting they are. And if they truly do care about you, they will come round in time, no matter how much they initially insist that they will 'never' accept you. This is especially true of family.) They have a right to their feelings and their reactions and it's not for you to pretend to be someone you're not in order to control how they see you. That's taking power that isn't yours. But you'll find out who your real friends are, and your relationships with (real) friends and family will get better, not worse.
(Complete side note: If you play Minecraft, you should check out /r/queercraft . It's a fantastic group of folks and there are loads of Trans folks who play on there. Multiplayer server IP is just mc.queercraft.net.)
A good therapist who actually gets Trans issues (most don't) would do you a world of good. See http://t-vox.org/index.php?title=Therapists_by_region to find therapists in your area, or in other areas who do phone sessions, who get Trans stuff and can help you. Ask them about sliding-scale fees. They may be quite a bit more affordable than you think.
There are a million things you can do to be you. Try buying some clothes that you really like, that make you feel good. Try a guy's haircut. Try interacting with people online as a guy. Try out a different name in a coffee shop - the kind where you give your order and your name, and they call your name when your order's ready. And, above all, talk to Trans people. Lots and lots of us.
Since you're so new, here, have a resource dump. :) Hope to chat with you over at http://ftmichael.transboys.info/yayforqueers.html too! It's full of folks who have been where you are and get what you're going through.
Talk to lots of Trans people! This is very, very important, and something that you're already starting to do. We're not all cookie-cutter; for many of us, the only thing we have in common is that we're Trans. We cross every demographic group and have a lot of different perspectives to offer. Get as many perspectives on things as you can so you can make well-informed decisions.
Take your time with these links; getting through them is not a race, and going through them slowly is a better idea anyway. Go through them in whatever order you want; I've just listed them by URL length so they're easier to read. I put a few in bold that I think might be especially helpful for you.
Must-reads if you can get hold of them - you may be able to find them at your local library or through inter-library loan, or get a cheaper used copy online:
(The books, aside from Trans Forming Families, can be ordered on Amazon or you can get the ISBNs from Amazon and bring them to any bookshop to order them. The DVD can be ordered on Amazon also, as you see from the link.)
See http://t-vox.org/index.php?title=Therapists_by_region to find therapists in your area, and in other areas who do phone sessions, who actually get Trans issues and can help you.
Since you're new, here, have a resource dump. :)
Talk to lots of Trans people! You're already starting to do that, and it's great that you're reaching out. We're not all cookie-cutter; for many of us, the only thing we have in common is that we're Trans. We cross every demographic group and have a lot of different perspectives to offer. Get as many perspectives on things as you can so you can make well-informed decisions. http://t-vox.org/index.php?title=Support_groups is an excellent way to find folks locally, and http://t-vox.org/index.php?title=Online_Support can help you connect with more people online.
Take your time with these links; getting through them is not a race, and going through them slowly is a better idea anyway. Go through them in whatever order you want; I've just listed them by URL length so they're easier to read. I put a few in bold that I think might be especially helpful for you.
Must-reads if you can get hold of them (for both you and your mom, but never give or recommend something you haven't first read yourself) - you may be able to find them at your local library or through inter-library loan, or get a cheaper used copy online:
(The books can be ordered on Amazon or you can get the ISBNs from Amazon and bring them to any bookshop to order them. The DVD can be ordered on Amazon also, as you see from the link.)
Hey man. :) Welcome.
Plenty of us are interested in men. As other folks have said, you'll be surprised. And either way, who you are is not dependent on how many people are going to want to shag you. Focus more on yourself and less on what other people will think.
Don't bind so much. A friend of mine bound about the same amount of time per day that you do, and he wound up with a really nasty infection on one side of his chest. It swelled up - much bigger than his chest was already - and was incredibly painful, and obviously he couldn't bind at all until it went away, which I think took a few weeks. Bind as little as you can stand to, and the general rule of thumb is that eight hours a day is a good maximum.
Take your time with these links; getting through them is not a race, and going through them slowly is a better idea anyway. Go through them in whatever order you want; I've just listed them by URL length so they're easier to read.
Must-reads if you can get hold of them:
(The books, aside from Trans Forming Families, can be ordered on Amazon or you can get the ISBNs from Amazon and bring them to any bookstore to order them. The DVD can be ordered on Amazon also, as you see from the link.)
You've already got some good advice from other guys about binding, but I wanted to post some other resources for you. :) Take your time with them; getting through them is not a race, and going through them slowly is a better idea anyway.
Must-reads if you can get hold of them:
(The books, aside from Trans Forming Families, can be ordered on Amazon or you can get the ISBNs from Amazon and bring them to any bookstore to order them. The DVD can be ordered on Amazon also, as you see from the link.)
Work on seeing him as a person first, not a gender. You'll be surprised how far that takes you, even if you're sure it's something you already do.
Is he out to everyone? Check with him about what name and pronouns he wants you to use, and whether there are contexts where he wants you to use something different (maybe around his parents, fellow university alumni, etc.).
Work at getting his name and pronouns correct consistently. That will mean the world to him. If you screw up on his name or pronoun, just correct yourself and move on. Don't make a huge deal out of it and spend ages apologising. That's what's embarrassing, not the slip-up.
Educate yourself as much as you can. Don't rely on him to be your only connection to all this. Before asking him anything, ask if it's okay to ask him about Trans stuff. Ask if it's okay to ask him about his transition before asking about that. Ask if it's okay to ask a personal question before you do. And if he says no, obviously honour that. Doing that will already put you light years ahead of a lot of the people that we have to deal with, especially early in transition.
Here, have a resource dump. :)
Talk to lots of Trans people! We're not all cookie-cutter; for many of us, the only thing we have in common is that we're Trans. We cross every demographic group and have a lot of different perspectives to offer. Get as many perspectives on things as you can.
Take your time with these links; getting through them is not a race, and going through them slowly is a better idea anyway. Go through them in whatever order you want; I've just listed them by URL length so they're easier to read. I put a few in bold that I think might be especially helpful for you.
Must-reads if you can get hold of them - you may be able to find them at your local library or through inter-library loan, or get a cheaper used copy online:
(The books, aside from Trans Forming Families, can be ordered on Amazon or you can get the ISBNs from Amazon and bring them to any bookshop to order them. The DVD can be ordered on Amazon also, as you see from the link.)