Have you thought to look into mindfulness meditation?
Meditation, in general, can have lots of benefits. But my personal experience (at least when I've been disciplined enough to practise) can bring us a direct connection to how we're feeling in a particular moment. The aim is not to crowd-out, push away or focus elsewhere, when we're distracted, or deep in some negative thought/feeling storm. instead, we just try to sit within the sensation, without judging it as good or bad. Just observe.
Over time, it can be possible to detect patterns when it comes to feelings/emotions. They tend to come in waves, and unless we ruminate/dwell on them, they can disappear pretty quickly. If we just dispassionately watch these waves come and go (Some refer to this as 'Surfing the urge') we can start to see that it's possible to break the link between stimulus and blind reaction.
In the context of your situation, it should start to become clearer over time how irritability can arise. At the start it might seem that not leaning into that emotion (Perhaps increasing towards anger) is impossible. But if you keep practising non-reaction you might be able to start cutting the links.
Suffice to say, even if you don't get immediate results, it should at least offer you an insight into the times it's best for you to just avoid interaction completely i.e If you're evidently in the middle of a storm, perhaps just wait it out before leaving your room. Sharing isn't always caring ;)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_If4a-gHg_I
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1H2Cgc60UlU
Here are a few books on mindfulness:
And this, which also includes the practise of 'Loving Kindness':