As I wrote the books I'm not going to promote them; they are simply suggestions based on your request. I am British, gay and lived in South Africa for many of my younger years.
The Scars of Life seems closest as it is set in London, Devon and Liverpool. I should add that the ending might not satisfy those who insist on "smiling happy ever afters into glowing eternal sunsets" - but it's may be considered satisfying. I should also point out that it's not crammed with steamy scenes: I prefer to avoid graphic intimacy, and trust the reader's abilities to visualise. The link below will lead you to Amazon's site and via the author's name to the other book.
My other novel - Separate Development - is set in South Africa and London. The main character is a very British doctor taking up a charitable post just before apartheid ends.
The Scars of Life