the pole (you can also roll your luck looking for large sticks, but i wouldn’t recommend, unless its a 1 pole tent) you need depends on the tent.

for the x mid 1, you need at least 4 stakes (6 for full storm protection, all are included with the tent), and 2 poles in the 46”-48” range. many brands sell poles like this, from lighter fixed ones like these and heavier adjustable ones like these. that is all you need, aside from a bit of practice.

on packing lists where people are bringing both (assuming it is an ultralight pack list), the pants are almost certainly either wind pants (budget option, or a lightweight rain pants. personally, i dont really believe in rain pants. i think they are uncomfortable, also worth noting in rain pants $100 or less are gonna weigh 10+ ounces. for temps in the 50s wind pants should keep you warm in any level of precipitation. they are super thin, you wear them over your shorts.

sleepwear is deeply personal. i would never sleep in my hiking shorts or shirt. some people are comfortable doing it.. for warmer temps id personally bring a pair of dedicated pair sleep underwear (two pairs total, the other one is dedicated for hiking) and then probably wear my fleece hoodie as my sleep top. theres all kinds of options. silk is very lightweight and very comfortable, but probably out of your price range. im not sure why you would sleep in your shorts or pants themselves, unless your quilt wasnt warm enough.

as for the hoodie/jacket: in 3 season weather your goal should be to have a base layer thats comfortable on its own during the warmest part of the day, and then a single active insulation (active insulation is breathable, i.e. fleece) layer thats comfortable when its cooler, and then your outer layer (windbreaker or rain jacket) that should be able to all combined handle the coldest part of the day. closer to winter a static insulation layer (down or synthetic jacket) for camp is also nice, but i dont think thats necessary for temps above 40 F. those are the the basics.

what i would test: is the hoodie/rain jacket comfortable enough for you in the early morning.

yeah 190 cm is pretty tall. personally, i like a sleeping pad that covers my full body. some people manage with torso or 3/4 length pads. personal preference.

in terms of lighter more budget friendly backpacks:

https://www.gossamergear.com/collections/backpacks/products/mariposa-60-lightweight-backpack

https://www.gossamergear.com/collections/backpacks/products/gorilla-50

dont be fooled by the apparent large capacity. internal volume is the more important metric. gossamer gear has more external pockets, so they on paper look bigger. the gorilla has internal volume of 32L , mariposa has 36L. a rough way to determine the capacity you need is to get a big box, and put everything you want to take with you in it packed neatly. then measure the sides and height to where its filled up. l x w x h, then convert to liters.

those backpacks will weigh 1/2+ lbs less.

happy to help 👍