https://www.amazon.com/Etymotic-Research-Fidelity-Earplugs-Standard/dp/B00G0PPTAK
I have the same problem, and these ear plugs helped me the most. They are inconspicuous and seem to filter out the sounds that bother me the most.
I have also found that working a basic office job was the best fit for me. It took me a while, but I finally found some part time secretary/office administration work. It was low stress and kept the triggers to a minimum, at least for me.
I hope this helps!
How do the cheap foam ones (ex: Mack's Ultra Soft Foam Earplugs) compare to the ones listed (ex: Etymotic Research ER20 High-Fidelity Earplugs)? Are the cheap foam ones worse in any way?
I ordered these earplugs a while back and have had great results. I know you can't order them now but they'll give you an idea of what to look for & how much they cost
The best way I can describe high-fidelity earplugs is that it adds a new layer of comfort to your listening experience. You can adjust the amount of sound being filtered out (so to speak) by putting them in deeper or shallower into your ear. If you do buy a pair, make sure to read the directions about how to put them in right (line them up right & tug down on your earlobe). All the way in, and things will sound a bit muted, but nowhere near like foam plug-style earplugs, so you'll want to find a happy medium.
Leave them in for 5-10 minutes, and everything will sound normal. Take them out after a while in the middle of a set, and you'll hear all the sound being filtered out, which'll sound like high-pitch screeching static. Put them back in, and you'll notice that things just sound better, more comfortable. Your ear isn't being overworked by the extreme highs & lows it can't properly handle. You'll still get the full-throated bass experience. Talking to people can be a bit tougher, but just have them lean in closer to your ear and you'll be good
I use standard ER20 I got a pair for my girlfriend too and she has small ears but they fit her, but they might be a little big for her comfort. They do get sore even for me at first, but you get used to them pretty quickly and by the end of the weekend when I don't have them in after the festival is over it feels weird for the first day.
This is what I have been using for years. They last a good while and are pretty cheap. There are some higher priced versions as well, but the base one is honestly fine.