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NO, Amazon, stop it. That's not who I am anymore. I left that life behind when I changed my name. Why can't you just let me move on!?

I burned through a $200 paper shredder in 6 months so I bought this $1,200 electronic wood chipper and love it. https://www.amazon.com/Patriot-Products-CSV-2515-Electric-Shredder/dp/B001KMZK3E/ref=mp_s_a_1_3?crid=2DZ0WGD5EI2NG&keywords=patriot+shredder&qid=1639145184&sprefix=patriot+shred%2Caps%2C92&sr=8-3