So, I found this thing:

https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B09YTSGYLN/ref=ox_sc_saved_title_2?smid=A25D077Z6UNZBG&psc=1

Seems like a pretty decent mini PC for $99. J4105, 8GB of RAM, 128GB SSD. If I install Linux on it I think I can get much better performance out of it than I would an SBC.