I do not have 100 karma (you know what to do), but I would like to submit an entry nonetheless. A Leatherman Micra, please.
https://www.amazon.com/Leatherman-Micra/dp/B000JCN0FG/?tag=parametrek-20
LOL!
::tapes Bic to this too::
https://www.amazon.com/Leatherman-Micra%C2%AE-Multi-Tool-Stainless-Steel/dp/B000JCN0FG/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1472350623&sr=8-1&keywords=leatherman+micra+multitool+scissors