Alrighty guys I'm giving away free copies of my book.
Like I will literally mail you a copy.
I've got like 20 extra prints and my press's approval & it only costs like $5 to ship a copy domestic, so.
I don't expect you to do anything with it, you could literally beat your spouse with it, I don't care.
Here's a link to the Amazon listing.
If you're interested, DM me from an obviously real real reddit account (obviously real = old account with human post / comment history), and give me an address I can send the paperback to.
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An October day, under the caliginous sky--can’t much expect that it’d be otherwise--we ventured through lengths of overgrown wheat into a crumbling parking lot, which stretched before and around the mall. Abandoned and disused, for its being around forty years old. So there’s this aesthetic from a childhood spent from 2000 to 2010, and that’s what we were trying to capture, still are. Stuff that we never thought would obsolesce--and of course that’s the condition of living at any moment in time, ever--you’d never guess that time would pass, that our orgastic past would recede year by year until eventually becoming permanently lost. But it is permanently lost--and thinking back to childhood, at the turn of the millennium, it was harder than other decades to figure that everything would look soon otherwise…--the over-the-top colors, the actual hot pinks and neon greens, crowded lightlessly beneath shallow asbestos’d ceilings (an indoor place for jumping on trampolines…?), sapid with manufactured exuberance. Sapid with expectation, dreamscapes--that life might resemble cartoons we watched, the cartoons like dramatized concatenations of countless logos one encounters walking a mall--hot topic, claire’s, apparently no one ever came to take the signs away, why would they, storefront signs bleeding into the future, exuding without audience a fading residue of structure-your-life-according-to-the-nontoxic-excitement-we’re-suggesting. They fade, these suggestions. This is what compels--the dissipation into nothingness, because there used to be such livelihood, I’d thought I’d become a ballerina, cadaverously thin, in some winterwhite setting…
He said, with a camera and a dismal american atrium, I’m trying to capture the deep things that reside within the mind of our culture, to face it, face everything. I said, well yeah, I’m struggling thereat. Afternoon outside with the oppressive sky, choosing as another oppression to wander these silent retailers where nothing lurks other than the demons we’ve collaboratively created over decades--only now and only if we try very hard, can we ask what were we even doing, what were we doing so mindlessly as to be completely unaware, sufficiently unaware as to be struck and upset about the pervasive gloom, the insoluble gloom, sorrow, which arises in the absence of any pedestrian, consumer, activity--as if the gloom wasn’t ours from the get, as if it weren’t our fault the recurring recession into unreachability, all that we’ve committed…
I can never really appreciate the design choices made in a place like this, he said. The dilapidated escalator with empty white sides rising to the top floor, skylights architecturally stretching across our atmosphere. He said, stand over here, this is what I need, this is perfect, this is haunting, this is aesthetic, this is dreamlike, the void is speaking to us. I stood like I was full of emotion before this indoor astroturf pasture on which there were different facades of homes and porches with banisters and porch furniture, like a dozen of these untenanted “homes” tunneling emptily and warehouse-like through society. It was for old people with the disorder about forgetting, so that in the delirium they could believe. A retirement community attached to a mall. He took photos of me and my face had the vivification, alive at last, refusing anymore to believe in anything but evanescence. This is soul-stirring, he said.
Refusing anymore to believe in anything--my faith couldn’t attach itself to anything, and not to the countless facades with doors struck out of an easter palette, certainly.
[…]
Just started publicity for this work—dumped hundreds of hours into editing and typesetting this thing.
Am giving it away for free until there's some social proof to justify it's purchase. A handful of bloggers and youtubers excited to review this thing, been sending out physical copies.
Until this thing has some traction, I'm giving the PDF away to anyone with an inkling of interest. It's got 22 custom illustrations—which, by the way, are stunning, if that's not weird for me to say (clearly biased but I did not in fact do the illustrations so, w/e).
It takes advantage of typography, like endnotes and footnotes, and a few of the stories are even set in completely different formatting—for example the quantum physicist writing a research paper, or the fuck boy posting facebook rants. + that soulless landing page of copywriting sitting in the endnotes.
I think, honestly, you should click the link and view the file.
Download it if you have any interest. It's not a virus. It's real. It's a real indie published work, with two formats and real ISBNs and everything.
This isn't amateur hour out here. Hundreds of hours of editing. An extraordinarily deliberate collaboration.
P.S.—if you're interested in a physical copy… I'm still giving some away while this thing's still under the radar. Let me know if you want one and why and I can probably be persuaded to send you one.
Link to the Amazon page with the blurb n shit if you like to read that kind of promo ish.
Link to download a high res PDF (fyi this thing has endnotes which yes are difficult to navigate on a PDF but they only start showing up around the sixth story and if you've made it that far there's little left to be averse to…).
I write this while I'm waiting for my reese's to freeze in my fridge. never go too early on that shit. it's halloween season so I couldn't resist
Interested in reviewing a book?
Giving away free copies to anyone who wants to read and review my book.
Proving to be quite polarizing.
If you're interested, comment here or send me a DM and I'd be happy to mail you a copy.